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A crowd of older white people, mostly from the South and Midwest, has descended upon Washington. They say that they want to “take back America,” but that their rally was not political in nature. We here at Dowdytalk wonder if the following was not political either:

At 8 a.m., thousands of people wearing “Restoring Honor” shirts were streaming down 22nd Street NW from the Foggy Bottom Metro stop, running smack into George Washington University’s move-in day. At the GW Deli, a popular sandwich shop, an employee said that two rally participants threw sandwiches in his face and refused to pay because they didn’t agree with a tax on the food.

We here at Dowdytalk seek to love all of humanity, to follow the example of the Dalai Lama and to be benevolent towards all. That said, we truly deeply sincerely honestly passionately furiously apoplectically loathe these dickwads. If we must love them, can it at least be tough love? Real tough love? As in tough love with a stick?

As our angry yogi used to say: “Namaste, motherfuckers.”

We here at Dowdytalk have a surprise for you, a new song we wrote in honor of Captain Groggy Swagger.

Groggy is a pirate, but in a past life he was a goth DJ. It is out of our affectation and admiration for the good captain that we wrote a song that combined these disparate elements into a single sonic offering: a goth disco pirate song.

You see, Groggy understands, as few others do, the moral rectitude that fortified the spines of those nautical brigands known variously as pirates, buccaneers, privateers, or Sir Walter Raleigh. Like us, he understands that, unlike many present-day inhabitants of the worlds, and in contradistinction to their cartoon image, pirates fought back against their oppressors. They demanded fair treatment. And sometimes that meant mutiny.

So, for your delectation, we here at Dowdytalk present a fine pirate song:
The Ballad of Groggy Swagger (Final Mix)

We here at Dowdytalk have not forgotten you.